I'm in the real world now, or at least closer to the real world than I've ever been in my life. I'm now a law clerk for a federal appeals judge here in Memphis, Tennessee. Here are some observations.

• We (my co-clerks and I) wear business casual in this here part of the real world (except for the Judge, who is much more formal than us). Me, for instance, I wear skirts. And blouses. And slacks. Though as time goes on and we become more comfortable with our jobs, we have been emphasizing more and more the casual part, as opposed to the business part.
• I still wear my various tragus and inner-cartilage jewelry, but not my brow and nose jewelry. My hair is still bleached in bits and pieces, but not dyed in fluorescent colors.
• We have regular hours here in the real world. Mine seems to be 7:45 a.m. to 7:30 p.m., Monday through Saturday. There is the occasional Sunday and the occasional 10 p.m.-er. Those times suck.
• We have, gah, responsibilities. Scarily, the resolution of major legal cases reside in our hands.
• We have offices. With doors. Doors are cool. We use them sparingly, but effectively.
• We have real deadlines that cannot be pushed back. These deadlines are often the cause for our occasional Sundays and 10p.m.-ers in the office.
• I actually have something referred to as a "salary" (as opposed to the good ol' graduate student "stipend.") It is not huge, but it certainly feels that way, given that I am living at home for no rent.¹
• Even in the real world, donuts can serve as effective bribes.
• Given the right coworkers, the real world can actually be fun. My judge is thorough and has a great sense of humor, my co-clerks are fun and believe in social justice, and all is well in our work environment.

It's not bad, except for the 7:45 a.m. thing. Though honestly, the 7:45 a.m. thing is okay because I have to catch a ride from my dad to work every day. Because I still don't know how to drive. (Don't ask. But yes, I'm learning.)

Here are the things I miss:

• Classes.
• Reading and studying and exploring esoteric topics in pursuit of "research interests."
• Research interests.
• Rampant footnotes. (This varies, but my judge hates 'em.)
• Being able to dye my hair fluorescent colors, or shave my hair, or wear rag-taggy big pants and secondhand t-shirts.
• The ability to rant and rave on anything and everything. (As a judicial clerk, I'm not supposed to comment publicly on the election, or on the cases I'm working on. I'm sure I would have little effect on anything or anyone, but you know me, I'm scrupulous that way.)