--{ on mutual enjoyment }------
I make a big deal, on this page, about tastes -- in books, in music, in movies. And I often self-denigratingly joke about how snobby I am about it. But I don't think I've ever explained the real reasons why I find it so uplifting to find people with the same tastes.
It's because it just feel so *good* to know that someone else is feeling your exact same joy. Yeah, as simple as that. It's great, just great, to really resonate with someone. And I mean that in an almost literal sense. "The intensification and enriching of a musical tone by supplementary vibration."1 My joys are amplified, enhanced, enriched by being around someone who feels the same thing.
And maybe that's why I don't feel any particular need to join book clubs, discussion groups, etc. Because it's not the talking about something that I need (although don't get me wrong, talking about the details is great, too). It's just knowing that someone else out there is feeling ecstatic about the same thing.
We (in a general cultural sense, not in a you-and-me sense) make fun of the people who say "Hey, remember when [so-and-so] said [certain stuff] in [some movie]? Wasn't that awesome?" as simple, silly. But I think that simple act of remembering, between friends, is one of the greatest pleasures of all. When one person says "I love Murakami" and the other person says "You do? Wow, I do too!" and it's not meant in any signifying way (as in "I am so elite I like foreign authors") or in some weird hitting-on way (as in "hey, I can be hip to your tastes, go out with me"), but in exactly the way it's said. You and I like Murakami.
And what's especially great is that "You and I like Murakami" becomes "We like Murakami" becomes "OH WOW, WE LIKE MURAKAMI." Perfectly coinciding waves are great that way. They amplify. They make big and huge our overlapping joys.
Which is why I feel the opposite about critiques. Critiques should be detailed, based on specific elements. Because who wants to amplify hatred? I don't.
But amplified joys, yeah, I think we should celebrate them. My personal problem is that sometimes my joys are obscure and disconnected (disconnected meaning the people into kayaking are not always the people into fonts who are in turn not always the people into food history who are in turn not always the people into postmodern fiction). More out of happenstance, I think, and not intention, but still. When I get to feel that resonating joy in something, anything, I just think it's the best best best best thing.
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1. Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition. Found in my office.